August - the Dog Days

I have been praying that I'll just wake up one morning and this month will be over. There are many, many stressful things about August for the Loves. But at some point this week I woke up and, lo and behold, I had actually slept. WHICH means that a. I have insurance and will not be paying for this baby over the next 5 years b. we furnished the guest-room, even in the middle of an income gap c. David has finished his syllabi and is feeling a lot more confident - which makes my life a lot happier too d. I found a grocery store that I feel at home in.
This last point may seem small but it really helped me figure out why this is such a hard transition. It's not that things here are better or worse, they are just different. And I've been walking around generally thinking, "OK, this has been an adventure. I'm ready to go home now." It's not that I don't like Wal-mart but see, I never shopped at Wal-mart before and so now that I have to it throws me off. Everything is so different! I just broke down in tears last week while waiting to see my new OB because even though he's very nice and all the practice is VERY different then my doc's at home. Every time I've gone in there I've had to do deep breathing just to keep my anxiety level manageable (obviously the day of tears shows that it was still not entirely manageable). And the hospital! I have it on good authority that the staff is wonderful and it's a good hospital but...wow. So different. And you have to drive to get to anything familiar.
But yesterday (after driving almost an hour to go to Borders) I was almost home and decided to stop at the Food Lion in the next town over. I'm in love. It's like Busch's but with Kroger's prices and mainly, it feels right. It feels familiar and the people who shop there and the staff seem familiar. And it's not an hour away, it's just 5 minutes down the highway. I can do that.
It turns out that at this stage of my life, I like chain-stores. I like them. It's like going to mass in a foreign country - it's always the same, even if the language is different. I also like a lot of the little local places here but right now it just makes me feel foreign.
Anyway, this post's main point is that it has been a really, really, REALLY stressful 3 weeks since moving but yesterday I had a little glimmer of emotional hope that this is going to get better. I'm going to find places and people where I'm comfortable (thank you Food Lion!) and I'm going to get used to driving places to get the services that I need (and all the drives around here are really beautiful and relaxing - gorgeous mountains and no traffic!). It's getting better...I think that my "Dog Days" are finally over. I've slept well for 3 days in a row now (and by "well" I mean that I was able to go back to sleep after all 4 times that I had to get up to pee) and that's a good sign.

Crazy?

Maybe I'm crazy or maybe I'm just wrong about my due date but I really don't feel as pregnant as I remember feeling the last couple times I was this pregnant. I keep reading these little blurbs in the preggers-books about how I should be so uncomfortable and swollen and generally miserable but, I'm not really. I'm thinking that it's part the fact that the stress and distraction of moving and having no health insurance yet have resulted in my gaining less then I did for the other pregnancies - just slightly above normal this time around. And second part would be expectations. I just did this last year, you know? I remember this time. There was no unrealistic expectations of what I would get done or how good I would feel - it sucks and I remember it. Either way, I'm very happy to not be miserable...man am I insightful.

(This is the most recent pregnant picture I have. I did have shorts on, despite appearances. This is my friend Kate - also pregnant - and me on taking a break with our twin girls on moving day.)

Unpacked

I think that we can say that we are officially unpacked. There are a few more pictures to sort through to decide where they go and the bookcases could use a little organization but other then that there aren't any boxes left to unpack, the closets are organized and life is looking pretty good down here.
Life is good but very different so far. I hardly ever drive but when I do it's for at least 20 minutes. My doctor (and hospital) are 40 minutes away...this concerns me a little but perhaps we'll be inducing anyway. Except for my doctor's appointment this morning I hadn't gotten into my car since Friday morning. Lily used to hate the car but now she claps and squawks with joy whenever we get in. I think that cabin fever may set in every once in a while, even though the yard takes the edge off. Hopefully after the baby is born and we "start school" we'll do more planned activities.
Mass has been a great way to get out of the house and start out each day though and since we don't even have to get in the car to get there it's been almost obscenely easy to make it each day. The parish is not the same as good ol' CTK, that's for sure. There are 4 retired priests and 1 non-retired priest who does most of the pastoral work. One of the retired priests has taken it upon himself to accompany himself with a little bit of guitar strumming during daily mass. He strolls into mass, carrying a guitar to the altar. He then leans it against the presider chair where it sits until the Gospel acclamation. Here he picks it up, and plays and sings the Alleluia while walking across the sanctuary to the ambo. The guitar goes with him to the altar for the Eucharistic prayer where is leans against the altar until the Sanctus. He then picks it up and leads us all in a rousing chorus of Holy, Holy, Holy. Moses was beside himself laughing the first day of this. What do you tell your 3-year old about Fr. Sings-a-lot? Even he can tell that it's clearly absurd. Ah well. I'm not complaining, just reporting. I'm very, very grateful to be so close to the church, even though some things will take a bit of getting used to.
Moses has had a few funny little comments recently that I could share.
Mommy: We are going to go to a store called Walmart, to get some things for the house.
Moses: (puzzled) But...houses don't eat food, they are just houses.

Mommy: I am going to pray.
Moses: OK, I want to stay and hear you.
Mommy: Well, I'm not going to pray out loud, just quietly.
Moses: Oh (he taps my forehead). Are you going to pray in your forehead?

Mommy: It's almost time for a nap, bud. And we have to hurry because Lily and I are VERY tired and I want to take a nap too.
Moses: SOME people don't want to sleep two times, and are sad when Mommies and Lily's sleep.

Moses: Mommy, I take trains very seriously.
Well, isn't that the understatement of the century?

That's all for now folks, keep us in your prayers as we make it through this next month - it's a doozy!

Here are some pictures of our life in the new house for those of you who may be Love-child-hungry.There have been a lot of thunderstorms the last few days and the kids wanted to run and play in the rain...it proved a little too thunder-y for them to pull it off for very long though.
Here's Moses trying to keep his cast in his sleeve so it doesn't get wet. He's a maniac about keeping the cast dry and on. I think he takes doctor's very seriously.

Just before it all went bad...

The fun is done. Cruel to take a picture before comforting her? Well, that's probably why I am very clearly not the favorite parent.

The other night he had apparently been spying on us from the stairwell after bedtime and did such a good job that this was what we encountered when we went up to bed around 10:30.

Plugged In

It's happened. We are a fully functional house with cable (the Olympics included), internet and my radio installed under my kitchen cupboard. I can once again fill my days with my electronic friends.
Just wanted to say that we're back in business here at Love-central. I can (and will) return emails and check Facebook and post on the blog...sigh. It is a much appreciated distraction. OK, I'm going to do some other stuff online. Pictures of the move coming...

We're here...home in MD

We have no internet so I am going to make this quick since Moses is talking the library lady's ear right off - of course about trains. Let's just say that I am here at the library because things in the internet world are NOT going Com-castically. Or perhaps they are. Some reputations are warranted.
We had a terrifically smooth move. The trip down went well with the biggest catastrophe were the multiple diaper leakages and oozes due to using Target brand diapers - if I ever get internet again I will be leaving a scathing review of their product on their site, thank you very much. Actually, I'm sure that I won't but it's nice to threaten.
Anyway, we were unloaded by 10:45 am on Saturday due to the tremendous help of a few local boyscouts who our realtor set us up with and of course the amazing help of a few friends from MD and a few friends from MI and my mom.
The unpacking is going well and I will post some pictures of our new digs eventually.
My calves are sore and have been for days since we went from living in a one-floor apartment to living in a three floor house where the children's bedrooms are 25 stairs up. I'm excited about how good it will be for my legs and my baby weightloss...
Speaking of baby - I have meetings with the doctor and with the state and I am doing my best to get the best medical coverage for this birth so I'd appreciate any little prayers sent up over the next week for that. It would be nice to save for a house of our own instead of paying off the baby over the next year.
OK, I've pushed the library lady far enough...sorry for the brevity and lack of details.
We are very happy here - LOVE the house and that yard! And LOVE the people - I think that I've said about 20 times per day, "the people are just so nice". Except, of course, the Comcast people. OK, hopefully talk to you soon!

Moving Days 1

Today was moving day #1. We loaded up almost the entire truck tonight with the help of several of David's former high school students who are now seminarians and also the help of my family. I CAN'T believe how much we got done, really, really. What an amazing group of hardworking folk. I'm so grateful! It was significantly more hectic and disorganized then I thought it would be because we had a very eventful morning instead of the calm morning of completing the packing and cleaning that I foolishly imagined.
I was overwhelmed leading up to today. The list just went on and on...But there's nothing like being overwhelmed to tempt God into adding one more thing to the pile so that you realize how good you had it before and how unreasonable you were being in wishing it to be simpler.
So here we were, already a bit behind - I was in a FOUL mood. No sleep + a pregnant brain trying to organize a cross-country move does not a happy woman make. And then we got a call from the hospital confirming that the x-rays that we spent ALL AFTERNOON getting yesterday were indeed of Moses' broken thumb.
That's right. His thumb is broken. He's got a cast. Which we spent all morning getting. Poor, poor boy. He got hit by a very fast, very wayward soccer ball on Sunday afternoon but he didn't seem nearly upset enough for me to think that it was anything more then a jammed thumb or something. I finally took him to the doc on Tuesday b/c although he wasn't complaining much it was still really swollen and bruised. Then we spent a really traumatic afternoon getting over our fear of the x-ray machine...the details are ugly and time is late so I'll spare you.
Anyway, today he is excited about the cast - thanks, at least in part, to the doctor who came into the examination room wearing an elephant nose.
Here are a couple of things that we discussed during this whole broken thumb business:
"How are they going to open my thumb to look inside it?"
"Which thumb do you like more? I like this one. (holding up the bruised, swollen one)
"I can't get my (insert anatomically correct word for boy anatomy) out!" (oh yeah, this is going to make potty training a blast!)
Me: "The bone in your thumb is broken."
Moses: "Oh! Wow! I didn't even know about that!"
Luckily the break is not at the growth plate and he should be out of the cast sometime after labor day, but no pools for the rest of the summer :(. At least we'll have a yard in the next 24 hours or so! No more pool but our very own yard...
OK, gotta run and finish up. I'm starting to really reach the end of my rope here, by the way. I'm just too run down to keep going but there's no choice! It's a cruel world...
Oh, also, we are returning our modem so I don't think I'll be able to post until at least Tuesday or so. Please keep us and our entourage in your prayers as we trek across the country.

Ode to Ann Arbor

I would write an ode to my hometown, to my home...but it's just too much. I realize that is something of a cop-out. But seriously, I'm hormonal, and once I start thinking about it I will never be able to stop the tears and the wallowing.
I do want to say that my gratitude to God for letting me live here and be formed here through these relationships and surroundings is unbounded. I recognize the incredible debt that I owe to the people who have made this place the uniquely fertile ground for relational and spiritual growth that it is. The depth of relationship and the intricacies of the various connections in this community continue to astound me. This wedding today is a perfect example - the connections between the two families go back 3 generations and it gives the blessing, "may you live to see your children's children" all the more richness in this particular application.
The friendships that I've formed here have been so "real". In fact, I wouldn't even call it friendship, I'd call it family. My friends here are really family. Brothers and sisters. I believe that the community roots have struck deep into my heart, even though I moved here "late", and I just can't fathom life without it's influence. It's Catholic-life at it's best.
As excited as I am to accept this new adventure and opportunity from the Lord's generous hand I can't leave without in some small way acknowledging the uniqueness of this place and these people. There is a triad of influences in this area that I don't believe can be replicated anywhere else, they need to grow naturally from the influence of the Holy Spirit. There's the roots of deep, abiding relationships that grew out of the ecumenical community. There's the efforts of various organizations founded by a Catholic philanthropist, Monaghan. And then there's the charismatic parish-life that is sort of the best of all the good influences coming together. Unique. Other places are wonderful and will have their own triads, or whatever, of goodness but Ann Arbor is still my home and all of you are still my family. I am grateful to my core for what I've been given by living here. And I hope that God sees fit to bring me home again sometime.
It's dangerous to write anything while feeling emotional and I'm trying to not be mushy and stuff but what can I say...sorry if I'm grossing you out.
Frankly, I won't even GO into the particulars of the relationships that I'll personally be missing. You know who you are and you know that I'm not saying anything because I just feel it too deeply to communicate it. It would be a big, snotty scene and nobody likes a big, snotty, pregnant woman.
I love you all and I'll be seeing you soon. Keep some of your children available for marriage to some of my children please, we need to make this family thing official.