Monday, April 8, 2013

Whatever is good, whatever is true, whatever is beautiful…

HEADLINE: Parenting is hard and really non-glorious work.

I'm feeling that in spades in this particular season of life. And to be honest, I'm having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees and I'm further down the path towards cynicism and selfishness then I have been in some time. So I'm in a daily, no, a minute-by-minute battle with my own inner-dialogue.

I won't give you examples of the negative thoughts that are slowly taking over my mind because they are ugly and embarrassing...anything BUT "pure-of-heart" though. They are thousands of little truths that are now twisted and swelled up lies. And I've been fighting a losing battle with them.

So, I was yelling at Thomas and Cece today because they were blatantly disobeying me by going upstairs when I told them not to (the yelling being the first-presenting symptom of my negative inner-dialogue). And Thomas turned around and yelled back at me with equal intensity, "What will make you HAPPY?!?!?! Hugs from me?!?!?!".

Yes, yes it will, T-dog. Thank you for the assist in this battle against the lies in my head.

"This is the day The Lord has made. let us be glad and rejoice in it."

Another fall, another rising. The twentieth of the morning so my knees are sore but it makes a difference having a hand to help pull me up.

2 comments:

  1. I love that little Thomas. I feel your pain but not to an equal degree considering you have two more than I do. It is not always easy but everyday there are moments that make me smile and warm my little heart and remind me of the verse you quoted.

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  2. I LOVE and respect your honesty so much! I only have 2 kids so far and I have lots of bad hours/days, sometimes it is really easy to a) beat myself up or b) just throw in the towel and stop trying to do things the "right way" I'll say a quick prayer that you are blessed with a string of good days soon! Thanks for good reminders.

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