Thursday, September 29, 2011

Poop Chronicles, vol. 7

Sub-title: Things that are not funny to me yet.
*Warning: extensive use of italics in the this post*
What the heck is WRONG with my children? Where are they getting the idea that it is in any way OK to be disgusting? Who is talking to them? Who is supervising them?
Rosie...grrrr...Rosie is the one who is skating on thin ice around here these days. John put the closet- toilet out of commission because it needs a repair that he doesn't have time to do right now and it has been leaking nastiness in the meantime, so for now it is not in operation. Anyway, it is the only toilet on the main floor and since he did this a couple weeks ago Rosie has been "having accidents" (that are decidedly not accidental) several times a DAY. Sheer laziness. The child just doesn't want to walk up a flight of stairs to the toilet. She would rather reek and get rashes and be generally revolting. If you inquire about her state of mind during said "accidents" then you will hear, "Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you? I WANTED TO PLAY." Grrrrrr......deep breath, Alexis.
BUT while that may explain why you pooped on the slide today it does not explain why last week you climbed into your sisters crib and dropped a big turd in the middle and then covered it with a blanket! OK, maybe that last one is a little funny now.
But the pooping on the slide?! That one is still just burning me up. Shudder and nausea.
I think I know who to pin this on though. While we were in Michigan last week we were bemoaning our lot in life regarding these strange poop-related behaviors to my family and, well, here's the end of that conversation...

John: ...and he says, "I wanted to finish building my track." So then you went over and peed in the corner?!
Anonymous brother: Well...that's not too weird.

Ahem. And I know that this particular brother really enjoys working on projects in his basement. Mmmhmm. So, I ax ya...what can you do with uncles like that?


  1. I dunno why they do the things they do. Why, for instance, did my 5-year-old decide to suddenly drop his pants AND underwear in the cereal aisle at Walmart one fine day? I dunno. Why did my 2-year-old decide that it would be fun to climb the stairs by SCALING the banister instead of simply walking up the stairs? I dunno. And why do all boys pick their noses and wipe it on the bedsheets, the sofa, the walls and anywhere else. I simply dunno.

  2. The slide? The SLIDE?... that's just wrong.

  3. Uh oh. I just taught Iain to pee outside (under the cover of a huge pine tree) while I was mowing the lawn and too lazy to cart everyone inside for his potty break. Thinking I was the best mom of a boy, I told Mark. His response: "You did what?! Next thing you know he's going to be peeing in corners of the house!" Me: "You're crazy, that doesn't make any logical sense; he'd never do that!" ....after reading your post, I tremble in fear. Have I just cracked open a big nasty can o worms? (no "accidents" yet)

  4. Ok so Gracie tries to stall every night by saying she has to poop as soon as I put her in bed.

    Last night I put the baby potty in the room and told her if she has to go, just get out of bed and go.

    Boy am I glad I did that, because guess what I found in there this morning???

  5. Your posts never fail to brighten my days. I'm quite sorry for your troubles but thank you very much for sharing the story :)