Poop Chronicles, vol. 7

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Poop Chronicles, vol. 7

Sub-title: Things that are not funny to me yet.
*Warning: extensive use of italics in the this post*
What the heck is WRONG with my children? Where are they getting the idea that it is in any way OK to be disgusting? Who is talking to them? Who is supervising them?
Rosie...grrrr...Rosie is the one who is skating on thin ice around here these days. John put the closet- toilet out of commission because it needs a repair that he doesn't have time to do right now and it has been leaking nastiness in the meantime, so for now it is not in operation. Anyway, it is the only toilet on the main floor and since he did this a couple weeks ago Rosie has been "having accidents" (that are decidedly not accidental) several times a DAY. Sheer laziness. The child just doesn't want to walk up a flight of stairs to the toilet. She would rather reek and get rashes and be generally revolting. If you inquire about her state of mind during said "accidents" then you will hear, "Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you? I WANTED TO PLAY." Grrrrrr......deep breath, Alexis.
BUT while that may explain why you pooped on the slide today it does not explain why last week you climbed into your sisters crib and dropped a big turd in the middle and then covered it with a blanket! OK, maybe that last one is a little funny now.
But the pooping on the slide?! That one is still just burning me up. Shudder and nausea.
I think I know who to pin this on though. While we were in Michigan last week we were bemoaning our lot in life regarding these strange poop-related behaviors to my family and, well, here's the end of that conversation...

John: ...and he says, "I wanted to finish building my track." So then you went over and peed in the corner?!
Anonymous brother: Well...that's not too weird.

Ahem. And I know that this particular brother really enjoys working on projects in his basement. Mmmhmm. So, I ax ya...what can you do with uncles like that?

5 comments:

SusanSeptember 29, 2011 at 6:53 PM
I dunno why they do the things they do. Why, for instance, did my 5-year-old decide to suddenly drop his pants AND underwear in the cereal aisle at Walmart one fine day? I dunno. Why did my 2-year-old decide that it would be fun to climb the stairs by SCALING the banister instead of simply walking up the stairs? I dunno. And why do all boys pick their noses and wipe it on the bedsheets, the sofa, the walls and anywhere else. I simply dunno.
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Uncle JamesSeptember 30, 2011 at 6:31 AM
The slide? The SLIDE?... that's just wrong.
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BetsySeptember 30, 2011 at 8:33 AM
Uh oh. I just taught Iain to pee outside (under the cover of a huge pine tree) while I was mowing the lawn and too lazy to cart everyone inside for his potty break. Thinking I was the best mom of a boy, I told Mark. His response: "You did what?! Next thing you know he's going to be peeing in corners of the house!" Me: "You're crazy, that doesn't make any logical sense; he'd never do that!" ....after reading your post, I tremble in fear. Have I just cracked open a big nasty can o worms? (no "accidents" yet)
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AESeptember 30, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Ok so Gracie tries to stall every night by saying she has to poop as soon as I put her in bed.

Last night I put the baby potty in the room and told her if she has to go, just get out of bed and go.

Boy am I glad I did that, because guess what I found in there this morning???
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Sarah PattonSeptember 30, 2011 at 10:15 PM
Your posts never fail to brighten my days. I'm quite sorry for your troubles but thank you very much for sharing the story :)
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Loves and Loveletts

Lex - somewhere in her mid-30's. Homeschooling mom as well as a homeschool graduate. Lives in a little Burg in the Appalachian mountains but will always have a little Michigan inside her. Mother of 6 that were born within 9 years of each other. Lover of audiobooks, praying through singing, birding, asparagus patches, and photographing kids. Grateful for the gift of community - the beauty, the ugly and the mediocre. Follower of Christ.

John - Late 30's Theology Professor, aka The Love Doctor. Always burning the candle at both ends he works hard during the day to form the future of Catholic priests and in the early mornings and evenings he carts children to and from activities and makes his wife mean G&Ts. Evangelization, providing music for Mass and adoration, sharing insights from St. Thomas Aquinas are what he's most known for in his professional life. Doing the dishes every night, dropping everything to meet us in the ER, and fixing the constant rotation of things the kids break are what he's most popular for here at home.

Anthony - Thirteen. Geography and grammar are where he shines academically - both requiring a precision that Anthony has a hard time not overusing. He enjoys playing soccer as often as possible and he stands out on his team as being a guy with his head and his body in the game - attentive and thinking. He works hard on living with equanimity as an introvert in a crowded, loud, busy home.

Rosie - Ten. Leader of "The Tribe": the three loveletts that were born within 2.5 years. She is a hard worker in school and rarely requires my help, just plugs along and gets her stuff done. She takes a lot of art classes and keeps a nature journal and I love what she is able to observe and translate through a pencil. She loves to make up all sorts of games and fun pretends for the younger member of the family. Everyone should be so lucky as to have a Rosie.

Thomas - Nine and all E. Energetic, enthusiastic, eager, excitable, extroverted, exhilarated and engaged. The only trouble we have with Thomas is that it's hard to keep him busy enough - he has an appetite for life that can be overwhelming! He's been this way ever since he mastered crawling. He was off and the rest is history. Anthony wrote this limerick about Thomas this year.

My brother is energetic

His body is super frenetic

He yells and he jumps

and he gives us all bumps

But Thomas is never pathetic.

This is all true.

Cecilia - Eight. Cece is such a great "smack-dabber". Smack-dab in the middle of the family and always wanting to be part of the team. She is generous, inclusive and positive. We often call her excited, positive, can-do presence, "The Power of Positive-Ce". She has none of her older sister's innate sense of fashion and often rollicks around in outfits that make me question her ability to see colors. And patterns. And cleanliness.

Catherine - 5 going on 30. Probably the most thoughtful and caring person in the house. She is totally normal when it comes to wanting to run with the big kids and "do it myself" and other such developmental standards. What sets her apart in our family is that she is so tuned into how other people are feeling and how her actions effect them. When she throws a fit (which she still does occasionally) she is the only child to offer unprompted apologies and amends. She is our sunshine.

Gloria - 3 and THE BABY. She is well ensconced in her role - having no desire or inclination to reliquish her tyrannical hold on all the people older then her. We do her bidding and she entertains us by singing herself little songs, letting us tickle her and having big beautiful eyes and super long eyelashes.

Love Life - Our Grand Tour

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Poop Chronicles, vol. 7

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