Dear Labor Fates,
I have a few requests in preparation for this grand event that will soon be upon us. The first is that you will decide to begin your work on Monday night or Tuesday morning. This would ensure that my mother will be here to participate. Monday would be better so that the baby will be born on the Birth of Mary. Plus, I'd rather not be induced.
Also, I would prefer that my water break in Triage. Not in the car on the 40 minute ride to the hospital. Also, other things that may leave the body during early labor are best reserved for some other time then the car ride (don't think too hard about this part). Very important to me is that Hurricane Hanna does not adversely effect the ride - given the flash flood warnings in effect I would prefer you to avoid her.
Moving on from the car-ride...
A non-negotiable item on the agenda is that I want to get there with enough time for some pain medication. I'm pretty sure this time around that I want it. If I don't want it then I want ample time IN THE HOSPITAL to decide. If you can arrange a room on the "new wing" for me while you're at it, I'd appreciate it. You know how easily effected I am by my surroundings - even though it's all the same equipment and stuff you know that the prettier wallpaper will make me happy. Also, David would appreciate the built-in bed.
Finally, please make sure that Dr. Smith is on-call or is somehow able to be there and that my nurse is nice and not a hick without teeth and with tatoos.
As to the sex of the baby, I don't think that really falls under your job description so we'll just leave that alone for now.
Mother of Lovelett III