Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Poop Chronicles, vol. 5

Subtitled: the last crappy 12 hours.

You know how all toddlers WILL, at SOME point, take off their diaper and spread it around their crib? This is just something to be borne. At this point I expect it and generally take it in stride. But yesterday Cecilia did it. She is 9 months old. In fact, it seems she really had it in for us because she didn't poo and then take of the diaper, she took off the diaper and THEN pooed in the crib. And then cried. Yeah, well, what do you expect, dear? It's not a nice feeling to poop directly on the surface that you sleep in. Even dogs don't do that. She may have missed some evolutionary step that is critical to my peace and happiness.

Next - bath time. I put the girls in the tub and was just reveling in a boy-free bathtime (I love them but a bath with just the girls is so calm and peaceful) and thinking about how I had already washed them and the water was still relatively clean -hmmm...how dirty are those boys? - when Anthony came running up the stairs raising the alarm for a plunger. Eek. That is never good. "Hurry, Mommy! I'm sure it's overflowing now!!!"
So I ran up to the attic to search out the plunger that is hiding among the construction zone. When I came down Thomas was sitting in the tub with the girls. With all of his clothes on. And the water was suddenly a dark tan. Sheesh. I knew that he was dirty but how could one 24 lb kid effect such a change?
I pulled him out, undressed him and put him back it. Then I saw the poop floating around in the tub. That explained the tan. Really nasty. Actually, it was too gross for my blood so I called in reinforcements.
Later on in the night said reinforcement spent from midnight - 3 am having his own issues in that arena. But thankfully for me he can wipe his own rear.
Then bright and early - 6:15ish - I hear fighting coming from the bathroom and all three "older" kids are in there. Rosie was taking a morning visit to the La Toilette and I am pleased to say that all was normal and as it should be. BUT, there was Anthony yelling at her because she had "taken so long that I pooped my pants."
Ahhhh. Parenthood. Ironically I need to run a quick spellcheck on this post and go change a poopy diaper before my nose hairs burn up. I Hope that this gets your morning off to a good start. It sure got mine off to a...start. Can't wait to see what the rest of the day brings.


  1. Woah, sounds like a crappy day (i know, I can't believe I just whipped that out either). And I'm positive it is funnier in blog form than in real life-- the blog is missing the really bad smells (thank you!) Hope your day improves... and I really hope this trick of Cece's is just a fluke. She's much too young for that. See you Thursday!

  2. Oh my goodness. This is really hysterical. Knock on wood, we've never had a poop incident. I think it's the co-sleeping--I'd catch them before they ever had a chance! :-)